it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
