It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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