you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
