I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
