reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
