whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
