The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
