I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
