I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
