Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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