...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
