I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
