quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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