I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
