we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
