he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
