nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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