THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it's like iHOP with fire
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How's work?
Spinning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
