Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
