I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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