dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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