HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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