Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
