Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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