So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
