i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So squirting runs in the family.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
