She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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