I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
