Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
