The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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