So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
