I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
