So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
