We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
