A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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