Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize