Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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