you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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