Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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