Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
