You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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