So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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