Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
