omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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