If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
