I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
