she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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