Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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