so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
