You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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