brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
